


78 Monkeys

by Leaves_Crown



Category: Harley Quinn (Comics), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Love, M/M, help in need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9068470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leaves_Crown/pseuds/Leaves_Crown
Summary: Yuuri enjoys living in their new house in a peaceful neighbourhood, until a strangely dressed woman appears in their garden, asking for help. Since Victor has not come home yet, he will have to find a way to deal with this himself.





	

Yuuri dropped the watering can and stared at the woman who had just run into his garden.

“Can I please hide?”

Hair blue and pink, she was carrying a large…what was it? A hammer?

“They’re after me.”

“What? Who? Why?”

“I saved 78 monkeys just now. That’s why.”

Yuuri scrutinized the woman with her weird attire. Perhaps she was mad. She seemed paranoid at the very least. If only Victor was here, so he could….

No. He should be able to deal with things himself, no matter how weird. This woman looked confused and he should help calm her down.

“Okay.” He gestured at the bench beneath the grape vines. “Let’s sit down for a moment.”

She glanced around wildly. “They’ll spot me here.”

“We’ll go inside and have some tea, but leave that hammer outside.”

“But that’s my…”

“You are a stranger. I am not taking you into my home carrying a potential weapon.”

She sighed, but nodded and lay it down behind the plants he had just been watering.

“Come in.” Yuuri laid out a pair of slippers. “Use these.”

He led her to the living room. Picking up the magazines that Victor had spread out over the couch this morning, he lay them on the coffee table. “Have a seat. I’ll make some tea.”

After he entered the kitchen, he took a moment to think. Perhaps he should call the hospital and ask them to pick her up. It might help her, or she might panic and run off anyway. Maybe all she needed was friendliness and a moment to relax.

Water boiled and he dared a glance into the living room. She was browsing through a skating magazine. 

“Is it yours?” she asked without looking up.

“Eh, no. It’s my husband’s.”

“Does he skate?”

“Yes, we both do.”

Smiling, she held up the magazine and showed him a double page spread. It showed a photo of Georgi doing a camel spin. “Is this him?”

“What? My husband?” Yuuri blushed. “No.”

“Too bad. I like his outfit.”

Yuuri was not a fan of the blood red horns, but he did not want to insult a fellow skater he respected. “Do you like skating?”

“I’ve roller-skated in the past. We had to bump off other teams. Got disqualified for fracturing bones,” she said cheerfully.

That made Yuuri’s eyes widen. What had he gotten himself into when he let this woman in? Perhaps the hammer had not been part of a costume, but a weapon of choice.

“I won’t hurt you, you know,” she said. “That’s what you’re afraid of, right?”

Speechless, he nodded.

“I only hurt those who hurt me… or animals.”

“Or roller-skate competitors?”

“Yes, those too.”

Yuuri got back to the kitchen and turned off the water boiler. He poured them both a cup of green tea. From the upper cupboard, he grabbed a package of cookies that Phichit had sent him.

“I hope you like it,” he said, offering them to her.

“Thank you… what’s your name?”

“Yuuri Katsuki. Nice to eh… meet you.”

“I am Harley. Doctor Harley Quinn.” She laughed at his expression. “I have a PHD in psychiatry. Surprised?

He held up his hands. “No, no.”

After a sip of her tea, she crossed her legs. “What about you, Yuuri Katsuki? Are you any good at skating?”

A little shy, he looked down at his hands. “I was in the Olympics.”

“You were? Did you win?”

“No, my husband did. I got the bronze medal.”

“So you’re both crazy good, huh?”

This made him smile. “We’re retiring soon, though.”

“Why?”

“Getting too old. We’ll need something new to do.”

“You can try roller skating.”

“Like what you did?” Yuuri smiled. “I don’t have the heart for that.”

“I guess you don’t.” She glanced at him and her expression softened. “Perhaps that’s a good thing.”

“We will continue to participate in shows, and maybe start an animal rescue centre.”

Suddenly, her eyes narrowed. “With good intentions, I hope?”

“Of course. Why else would someone start one?”

“For profit.”

Put off by the insinuation, he put down his cup. “What happened with the monkeys?”

“They were used in experiments. Cruel ones, so I released them.”

“What?”

She shrugged.

“You released them… where?”

“Just let them out into the street.”

Yuuri rubbed his face with hands. He wasn’t sure if she was making it up or had actually done this.

“You might get in trouble for it.”

Harley thought about this for a moment. “Do you love your husband?”

This made him blink. “What? I… yes.”

“If people hurt him, wouldn’t you do anything to save him?”

The idea that anyone would hurt Victor made his body tense. “Of course.”

“That’s how I felt about those monkeys.”

Yuuri sighed. “They will arrest you, if they find out.”

“Oh, I’ve been in prison before. Sometimes Ivy bails me out. Otherwise, I just escape.”

Almost, Yuuri made the mistake of asking who Ivy was, but he refrained. He’d had to digest too much madness for one hour.

“Doctor Quinn, maybe you’d like to talk to someone about all this?”

“I like talking to you and I like your cookies. Your husband is very lucky.”

Despite everything, a rush of happiness filled Yuuri at those words. “You think so?”

“I do. You are thoughtful and kind to someone you don’t know. You don’t judge me.” She got up and placed a kiss on his forehead. “And you’re cute too. Look at that blush.”

“I… that’s… I’m just easily embarrassed and…”

“Thanks for everything. I’ll go help the monkeys now. Perhaps letting them out into a street wasn’t the best idea.”

Right that moment, the front door opened. “Hey Yuuri, I got… woa, great shoes! Where did you get them?”

Victor came in carrying the heels that Harley had left at the door.

“They’re mine, actually.” Harley snatched them from his hands.

“Oh, hello,” Victor said, surprised.

“Hiya, bye-a.” She headed to the hallway and exchanged the slippers for her heels. Just when Victor turned to Yuuri to ask him what was going on, she appeared again in the door opening.

“Your name is Katsuki too?”

“No, it’s Nikiforov. We kept our own names.”

“Okay, Nikiforov. Don’t ever do anything to hurt Yuuri, or I will have to use my mallet on you. Understood?”

“What? I would never hurt Yuuri!”

“Good. Thanks for the tea.”

They heard her close the front door. Victor walked over to Yuuri and took his hands. “Is she going to be part of the show?”

Yuuri shook his head. “She’s a wanted criminal and a doctor in psychiatry.”

“Ah?”

There was no way he could explain this without sounding mad himself, so he just hugged Victor until he relaxed a little. “If we ever want a career in roller skating, we can give her a call.”

“Yuuri, you’re not making much sense.”

“I know. This was weird to me too. Let’s not watch the news today.”

“Why is that?”

Yuuri left a little kiss on Victor’s lips. “There is going to be more weirdness on it.”

“What do you suggest then?”

That made Yuuri cock his head and give Victor one of those looks that always made him weak. “Take a little… nap?”

Victor grabbed his hips and pulled him close roughly. There was no more talk about monkeys or criminals, at least until the morning paper arrived.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little story. This Harley Quinn was based on the comic book version of her. I have not seen Suicide Squad yet.


End file.
